Stuck on You

reviewed Tue, 09 Dec 2003

So, this happened to me:  I came home the other night to find that my bathroom sink had projectile-vomited black sludge all over my bathroom.  I mean all over:  ceiling, walls, floor, into the hallway, towels, everything that was sitting out... it somehow even managed to jump over the shower curtain and splatter the tub.  It shot the stopper right out of the drain.  When I finally convinced the maintenance man to come look at it, he said he'd never seen anything like it.  I was nervous that it might happen again, this time while I was, say, standing over the sink brushing my teeth or something, but he assured me confidently that it wouldn't (which would have been more reassuring if he hadn't said five minutes before that he had no idea what had caused it).

On a happier note, I got a sneak preview of Stuck on You, the Farrelly Brothers' new movie, at the MPAA screening room, and although the movie was kind of disappointing, it still beat scrubbing mysterious black sludge off of every inch of my bathroom.  (Okay, so that's a pretty low standard for a movie to meet.)

The Farrelly Brothers tone down their bathroom humor and politically incorrect jibes, and the result is… not as funny.  It pains me to say that, believe me.  Damon and Kinnear both create such real, likable characters – Damon especially -- that I wish they had a funnier movie around them.  All the elements are in place, and I enjoyed the movie while I was watching it, but it’s not something that sticks (pardon the phrase) with you.  I mean, can you imagine what, say, The Simpsons writers could have done with a musical version of Bonnie and Clyde?  The Farrellys, however, offer up an only mildly amusing set piece that made me think longingly of Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off! or Streetcar!

On the plus side, Cher and Meryl Streep are awfully good sports, and Kinnear shows off a fabulous Truman Capote impression.  Damon and Kinnear handle the conjoined twinness with aplomb, deftly moving with each other as though they'd been doing it all their lives (and I wouldn't mind being stuck between those two).  I guess it just feels like, comedically, the inspiration wasn’t really there.  After a while, there’s only so much you can squeeze out of the conceit.

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