It would have been perfect if not for Minnie Driver/Keanu Reeves

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997):  Co-written by and starring John Cusack, this black comedy about a hitman rethinking his career is acidly smart.  Too bad the love of Cusack's life is Minnie Driver.
An Ideal Husband (1999--England):  Rupert Everett in possibly the most perfect role he's ever had, as an elegant, dissolute peer tossing off Wilde witticisms with admirable ease.  Too bad he has to pretend to be in love with Minnie Driver.
My Own Private Idaho (1991):  Gorgeous, poetic film, with an astonishing performance from River Phoenix.  Too bad Keanu gums up the works doing Shakespeare as a surfer dude.
 

Charming Irish films

The Commitments (1991):  Terrific, lively story of the rise and disintegration of a band in working-class Dublin.  Excellent soundtrack, and I highly recommend any of the books by Roddy Doyle, including the one on which this is based.
Eat the Peach (1986):  A couple of unemployed Irishmen come up with a loopy money-making scheme, inspired by Elvis Presley's Roustabout.  Lots of fun.
Hear My Song (1991):  Great little movie, by Peter Chelsom, about a nightclub owner (Adrian Dunbar) who, to win back his fiancee (Tara Fitzgerald), tracks down the legendary Irish tenor Joseph Locke, who's in hiding due to tax problems.  Ned Beatty is fantastic as Locke.
I Went Down (1998):  A low-key gangster comedy.
The Snapper (1993):  Also based on a Roddy Doyle novel, this too is energetic, fun, yet touching.  Like The Commitments, features a great performance by Colm Meaney.
 

Get out the Prozac

Ponette (1996--France):  This movie, about a little girl whose mother has just died, wrecks me.  It's excellent, very realistic, but extremely sad.
Smash Palace (1981--New Zealand):  Also very well-made and raw -- also terminally depressing.
 

Not really a recommendation, but....

The Comfort of Strangers (1991):  Creepy, pointless, and dull.  But Rupert Everett gets nekkid.
Virtuosity (1995):  This is a godawful video-game of a movie, but Russell Crowe is briefly naked in it.
 

If someone tries to make you watch this (without specific intent to mock), they are not your friend.

Buffalo '66 (1998):  I have a deep, personal grudge against Vincent Gallo for making this film.
Hamlet (2000):  Actually, this is really funny and would be very entertaining to see with friends.  But purely from a movie-making and Shakespeare-adapting standpoint, it's truly incredible how badly it sucks.
Mad Dog Time (1996):  Surreally awful.  Beware: it's now called Trigger Happy on video.
Music of the Heart (1999):  Sodden, sentimental crap.  How Meryl Streep got an Oscar nomination for this is unfathomable.
Mystery, Alaska (1999):  Even though Russell Crowe is in this movie, I walked out (yes, it's worse than Virtuosity).  Dull and stupid.
One Tough Cop (1998):  One piece of crap.
The Other Sister (1999):  Oh god, please, not more insufferable actors playing retarded people.
Random Hearts (1999):  Ummmm... I'm trying to remember the last time Harrison Ford or Sydney Pollack made a good movie.  Ummm....  Well, it isn't this one, that's for sure.
Showgirls (1995):  Please, please, please don't mistake this for a "so bad it's good" movie.  It's just bad.  Horribly, unnaturally, hideously bad.  It's offensive on so very many levels.  And it's bad.  Did I mention how bad it is?  Please don't see it.
 

If you're in the mood to see an Oscar-winning actor being vomited up by a giant snake

Anaconda (1997).  Your only option so far, but I gotta believe David Cronenberg will come through for me sooner or later.
 

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