I think The Onion nailed it in their infographic of reasons why people want to see Planet of the Apes with, "Can't resist any film with the phrase 'Kill them all' in trailer." Add to that my cinematic rule -- "Monkeys make any movie better; decapitations make any movie better; therefore, decapitating monkeys make any movie way better," and how could I resist? I enjoyed the movie, but I must admit to feeling a bit disappointed. I suppose I expected something a little more subversive and imaginative from Tim Burton. This comes off as just another summer action movie that's more style than substance, albeit more creatively designed than most.
I haven't seen the original in years, so I don't remember very well what the apes looked and acted like, but I don't recall their being as apelike as they are here. In Burton's version, they are stunningly convincing, mixing distinctly human actions with simian touches like grooming each other or giving guttural shrieks. The make-up, by Rick Baker, is excellent, allowing the actors expression while completely masking their human features (though it occasionally muffles or distorts their speech). Most impressive is the fluid speed with which the apes mount horses or gallop on all fours. The ape city, too, is marvelously designed, vertical and built of trees and vines.
So many pop culture references to feast on! I couldn't help thinking of the Simpsons' parody, the musical Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!, which featured classic lines such as, "I hate every ape I see/From chimpan-A to chimpan-Zee." The ape army resembles the flying monkeys of The Wizard of Oz (but then, I guess, when you've seen one monkey in a helmet, you've seen them all). Paul Giamatti's oleaginous orangutan slave trader could be a primate brother to Peter Ustinov's character in Spartacus. And, of course, the movie references the original Planet of the Apes frequently -- you could tell by the number of people laughing who had seen the first movie and who hadn't. Most of the theater hadn't, and so lines like Michael Clarke Duncan's snarled, "Take your stinking hand off me, you damn dirty human," fell flat. Having Charlton Heston in an unbilled cameo -- as an ape! -- was a nifty touch, but his "Damn them all to hell" felt contrived (as CNN's reviewer pointed out, in warning his son Thade about humans and their weapons, Heston's character notes that the humans who created guns were devious, violent beings: in other words, guns don't kill people, people kill people. Give the guy props for staying on message).
The actors behind the ape make-up, ironically, give the best performances, though they're unrecognizable. Tim Roth is satisfyingly malevolent as the leader of the ape army, Thade. The sense he projects of barely controlled physicality and the elastic makeup that allows nuanced expressions to supplement the snarling dialogue add to the menace. Though he's much smaller than his second-in-command, Michael Clarke Duncan's imposing gorilla Attar, there's no question of who's in charge. Helena Bonham Carter's Ari would be in our world an insufferably smug PETA activist; here, she's a human-rights advocate who's a little too precious for my taste, but she does a good job of creating a fully formed character, which is more than you can say for most of the cast.
Mark Wahlberg is disappointingly bland, a generic action hero who might as well have been Keanu Reeves for all he added to the film. Okay, no, that was too harsh, I didn't mean that, I was lashing out -- but I was disappointed. If you're not going to let him act, I say, at least let him -- no, MAKE him -- take his shirt off! One thing he does have going for him is an appealing vulnerability that peeks through the action-hero bluster, but he doesn't get the chance to reveal it often enough, instead often adopting the get-the-job-done façade of a Bruce Willis.
Estella Warren stands around in the vacant, vaguely annoyed, slack-jawed manner that gives blondes a bad name, not to mention a strategically skimpy, Raquel Welch-ish outfit of the type that gives blondes a good name. (Although the humans seem rather primitive, they at least have lipstick and Wonderbras, to judge from her appearance.) Why am I not surprised to find out she's a former synchronized swimmer? (Yes, I know Legally Blonde should have taught me the valuable lesson that blonde is only skin deep... but it didn't.)
It's annoyingly stereotypical to have the two females competing for Mark Wahlberg to the point that it becomes a defining attribute, at least for the blonde -- I mean, they're running for their lives, and their primary concern is whether or not the other gal is getting face time (so to speak) with the pretty boy? (I'm not saying I would act any differently, but frankly, my behavior should not be a model for anyone.) There shouldn't even be a competition -- Wahlberg is shown developing a relationship only with Carter. He barely seems to interact with the blonde until the end (and even then, it's mainly their tongues doing the interacting, wink wink, nudge nudge). Seems like the only reason they're assumed to have a relationship is, as a friend of mine once put it about a different movie, they're the two best-looking people in the movie, so they have to get together.
Unfortunately, the dialogue is often silly -- like when Giamatti snivels, "Can't we all just get along?" -- and sometimes, regrettably, sinks to the level of Schwarzeneggerian quips. Nor is the plot very thoughtful. I've noticed a lot of critics complaining that this version doesn't address the same social and cultural themes as the original, but that's not what I mean -- that doesn't bother me; in fact, I'm just as happy to have an action movie with no subtext or message. I'm not sure I can verbalize what I expected, but something more -- more idiosyncratic, more clever, more Tim Burton -- or maybe something less -- less bombastic, less superficial, less conventional.
The final plot twist is not the same as in the original movie, but it is still very Twilight Zone (appropriate, given that the 1968 movie was scripted by Rod Serling). The whole ending sequence seemed very silly -- a literal deus ex machina drops in just when things seem hopeless -- and I figured out how the movie would end within the first half hour, so I was getting impatient.
Anyway, I recommend it as a summer popcorn movie.
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