Who’s unimpressed by Virginia Woolf?

reviewed Sat, 22 Feb 2003

The Hours is … everything I like a movie to be about: depression, suicide, lesbians.”
--Mike White (Chuck and Buck, The Good Girl)
If your tastes are not like Mike White’s – I would have said mine are, but apparently they’re not – you may not be so thrilled about The Hours.  It is a thoroughly depressing movie, and really the only reason to see it is the cast (and the multiple Oscar nominations, so that at least you’ll know how wrong it would be if The Hours wins any awards, except maybe for Nicole Kidman).

The movie depressed me without my ever caring about anyone in it.  It’s very slow, and although my interest gradually accrued, emotion didn’t.  I never connected with it; I never forgot that I was watching a movie or felt like any of the characters had a life off the screen.

Nevertheless, the performances are quite good.  Although Nicole Kidman is fine as Virginia Woolf and Julianne Moore actually didn’t annoy me even though she was playing another martyr, I thought the supporting cast outshone the leads.  Stephen Dillane as Woolf’s husband, Leonard, is especially good, and Toni Collette has a great cameo; at first, she’s supremely irritating, but suddenly her veneer cracks for a moment, and we understand why she’s so brashly unkind.  I wish I could say Allison Janney is terrific, but we hardly see enough of her to judge.  Ed Harris’s dying-of-AIDS poet is a mawkish nightmare waiting to happen, but for the most part he steers clear of histrionics or lachrymosity.  Still, this isn’t in the same class as Paul Newman’s and Chris Cooper’s performances.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should admit that I never read Michael Cunningham’s novel or Mrs. Dalloway, I don’t like Virginia Woolf in general, I disliked the movie of Mrs. Dalloway, and I usually can’t stand Julianne Moore or Meryl Streep.  So I guess it’s a testament to the film that I didn’t thoroughly hate it.  (I did, however, thoroughly hate the simple-minded, maudlin connection that links Streep’s and Moore’s story lines.)  My opinion of The Pianist has improved as it ages in my mind; if anything, my opinion of The Hours has grown more sour since I saw it.  So if you have to choose between two deeply depressing movies, pick The Pianist.

Oh, but I haven’t complained about Regal Cinemas, where I saw The Hours!  That’s unforgivable.  This time, the evil manifested itself as a jet-engine noise in our theater that ran the entire time we were in there.  But also, Regal has started a nefarious practice of running commercials during the time that they used to have (silent) slides on the screen.  So, to be heard above the din, you have to talk loudly if you want to chat with your companion, and everyone else is talking loudly, so then you have to talk even louder…  Some fed-up moviegoers have started a petition at www.captiveaudience.org to ask Regal to stop; I signed it, like it’ll do any good (customer satisfaction is clearly not a concern for Regal).  Also, a woman is suing Loews Cineplex on the argument that showing commercials at the announced movie start time is a deceptive business practice.  Her legal team is also thinking about suing Regal.  I don’t know if that argument holds up, but I hope somebody sues the bastards.  You can go to NoMovieAds.com to check out other links to like-minded people.

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