Like you can't guess, it's the story of the ascent to power of Elizabeth I, marvelously played by Cate Blanchett, who absolutely nails the transition from giggly maiden to powerful monarch. As the movie opens, her half sister "Bloody" Mary Tudor, who bears a remarkable resemblance to their shared father, Henry VIII as played by Charles Laughton, is dying, and England is divided between Catholics, represented by Mary, and Protestants, represented by Elizabeth. Plots to kill Elizabeth don't succeed in time, and she takes the throne when Mary dies.
The plots don't stop, though. Elizabeth's got enemies everywhere, including a magnificently menacing Christopher Eccleston (Shallow Grave) as Norfolk, the chief conspirator against her. Hell, even the Pope (John Gielgud, who I'm happy to find out isn't dead like I thought) is having a "kill a queen, get into heaven" special. But she's got a mysterious Man in Black on her side, the creepily emotionless Lord Walsingham (Geoffrey Rush, who seems to be very good, but when you think about it, doesn't really do any actual acting).
The main aims of both the plots to overthrow her and those to consolidate her power seem to be to marry her off -- which Elizabeth roundly rejects in a very empowering Gloria Steinem moment, snapping, "There is only one mistress here, and no master!" You go, girl! Betrayed by her lover (Joseph Fiennes, Ralph's younger and nowhere-near-as-handsome brother), unwilling to marry even though -- or perhaps because -- all her advisors urge it, Elizabeth cuts off all her hair, declares " Now I am a virgin" (my friend Tiffany says she's going to try that line next time she gets a haircut), Kabukis her face, and announces she's married to England. (What does THAT gift registry look like? "Hmmm, she's already got the Crown Jewels. Let's get her an armada.") And goes on to rule for 40 years.
Overall, the movie's interesting and good -- beautiful costumes, some excellent performances (especially Fanny Ardant who, as the French warrior-queen Mary of Guise, steals the show for the few minutes she's on screen), much unintentional humor -- but it sometimes drags in the way that period pieces often do. The director is overly fond of overhead angles and circling handheld shots, meaning that for the first half of the movie, you're either vertiginous or dizzy (I know those are synonyms; I'm trying to differentiate between the high-up dizzy and the whirling-around dizzy, and it's late, and I can't think of any better words). It might help to have a little historical background, too -- or maybe I could lend you my trading cards, which cleared up a lot of confusion for me.
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