Then, of course, the theater ended up being nearly empty, since only about 30 people were as stupid, resourceful, desperate, committed, unimaginative, or just plain bored as I. On the plus side, this meant we all got extras of the freebie Corky masks.
I've gotta say, I'm glad I stuck with the rigorous commute. I hate the term "feel-good movie," but Corky Romano's goofy good humor sure made me feel good. I defy anyone not to laugh watching Corky driving his orange Miata with the "CORKSTR" license plate, bopping his head to a-ha. I was in a pissy mood to begin with, and the ordeal of getting there only made me pissier, but Chris Kattan's dopey cheer was infectious.
Owen Gleiberman in Entertainment Weekly said that "Chris Kattan looks like an organ-grinder's monkey who just got his cap stolen and can't figure out who to blame." To Mr. Gleiberman, this is a bad thing. To me, this is a very, very funny thing. Kattan's antic energy makes even his ridiculously overdone klutziness funny.
The movie is set in happier times, when Bill Clinton's portrait adorned government offices. Corky is a perky veterinarian (at a clinic where a sweet elderly receptionist answers the phone with, "Poodles and Pussies," which I know will cause at least one of you -- I'm not naming names, T-----y -- to laugh hysterically) whose Mob family forces him to join the FBI to steal the evidence against Pops Romano (a heavily medicated Peter Falk) before Pops' upcoming trial. The movie unfortunately tries to wring humor out of homophobic jokes and midgets, and I was a bit uncomfortable, given the circumstances, about seeing the FBI agents portrayed as kinda dumb, but overall, I had a good time and certainly was lifted out of my crankiness. I rarely can get into stupid movies, but it was exactly what I needed at the time. (Here's my quote for the poster: "Chris Kattan is better than Prozac!")
A few random observations:
--I don't think I've ever seen a cat in a fat suit before.
--I give the movie big, big bonus points for using both "Secret Agent Man" and "We're Not Gonna Take It."
--Extra, double-big bonus points for casting Shaft as the FBI director. Not that he does anything all that interesting, but I like to see that Richard Roundtree is getting work.
--How broke are Peter Berg, Chris Penn, Peter Falk, and Fred Ward that they needed to work in this movie? I mean, they're, like, real actors.
--I did get "Take On Me" stuck in my head, but as songs stuck in your head go, it's not a bad one to have. Unlike, say, the theme from "The Brady Bunch," which my evil coworkers kept humming despite -- well, because -- I told them they were very bad people. They were doing this because I mentioned an article I had read in the L.A. Times about a scientific study on why songs get stuck in your head; I'd read it hoping it would tell me how to get songs unstuck from your head, but it didn't. And since it listed many of the songs that people commonly get hooked on -- don't worry, I'll spare you by not mentioning them, especially since I've already mentioned "Take On Me," "Shaft," "Secret Agent Man," and "We're Not Gonna Take It" -- it actually did more harm than good.
--I recommend the website, where you can sing along with Corky and watch him and a wiener dog dance spastically.
Of course this is a stupid movie -- do you really need me to tell you that? But as stupid movies go, it's one of the more entertaining ones (possibly because Chris Kattan is far more appealing than, say, Chris Farley or Adam Sandler).
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